I Quit my Programmer Job to Become a Chicken

Sebastian Carlos on 2022-11-09

Puk Puk Pukaaak! Cluck cluck… Bwak Bwak Bwaaak, puk puk pukaaak! Cluck-cluck-cluck bok.

Cluck-a-buh-gawk, cock-a-doodle-doo! Cluckity cluck cluck, puk puk pukaaak!

Bwok bwok bwok, puk puk pukaaak! Cluckity cluck cluck, puk puk pukaaak! Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak!

generateChicken.js

export const generateChicken = () => {
  const bwwwaaaaaaaaaak = [
    "puk",
    "pukaaak",
    "cluck",
    "cluck-cluck-cluck",
    "cluckity",
    "bwak",
    "waaak",
    "bok",
    "bwok",
    "cluck-a-buh-gawk",
    "cock-a-doodle-doo",
    "bwwwaaaaaaaaaak",
  ];
  const cluckCluckCluck = [".", "...", "!", "?"];
  const bwok = [15, 30, 75];

  const cluckity = bwok[Math.floor(Math.random() * bwok.length)];

  // Bwok bwok Bok Cluckity. Bwak Cluck-cluck-cluck... Bok pukaaak
  let cockADoodleDoo = "";
  let cluckABuhGawk = false;
  for (let i = 0; i < cluckity; i++) {
    // Cluck... Bwok cluck
    let waaak =
      bwwwaaaaaaaaaak[Math.floor(Math.random() * bwwwaaaaaaaaaak.length)];

    // Cluck-a-buh-gawk
    // Note: Cluck cluckity Bwak Cluck-cluck-cluck Puk
    const pukaaak = i === cluckity - 1 || Math.random() > 0.9;
    const puk = pukaaak
      ? cluckCluckCluck[Math.floor(Math.random() * cluckCluckCluck.length)]
      : "";
    waaak = waaak + puk;

    // Bwok Bok bwak!
    // Note: Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Pukaaak Bok Puk?
    const cluck = i === 0 || cluckABuhGawk || Math.random() > 0.3;
    waaak = cluck ? waaak[0].toUpperCase() + waaak.slice(1) : waaak;

    // Cluck... Bwok cluck
    cluckABuhGawk = pukaaak;

    // Cluck Cluckity Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak
    cockADoodleDoo = cockADoodleDoo + waaak;

    // Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Waaak
    cockADoodleDoo = i === cluckity - 1 ? cockADoodleDoo : cockADoodleDoo + " ";
  }

  return cockADoodleDoo;
};

Puk puk pukaaak! Cluck cluck… Bwak Bwak Bwaaak, puk puk pukaaak! Cluck-cluck-cluck bok.

Cluck Pukaaak Cluckity Pukaaak bwok Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk Pukaaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk bok cluckity Bwak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Puk Bwak Bwok cluckity Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Waaak Cluck-cluck-cluck bok Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak:

“Cluckity Pukaaak Cluck-cluck-cluck Bok cluck Puk Puk waaak. Waaak Cock-a-doodle-doo bwok? Cluckity Waaak Pukaaak bwak… Cock-a-doodle-doo Cluck-cluck-cluck cock-a-doodle-doo Waaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak”

Cock-a-doodle-doo Puk puk Cluckity Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak cluckity Cluck Bwak Cock-a-doodle-doo Cluck Bok cluck-a-buh-gawk puk Cluck-cluck-cluck Bwok Cluck Cock-a-doodle-doo cock-a-doodle-doo bwak… Bwak! Cluck-a-buh-gawk Waaak Cock-a-doodle-doo Cluck bwak Cluck Cock-a-doodle-doo Cluck bwwwaaaaaaaaaak! Puk Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Bwok?

Chicken Chicken Chicken

Cluck Cluckity puk bwak Cock-a-doodle-doo cluck… Pukaaak cluck Bok Cluck-a-buh-gawk waaak Bok Cluck-cluck-cluck Puk cock-a-doodle-doo cluck-a-buh-gawk Waaak Cluck Cluck.

Cluck-a-buh-gawk Cluck-cluck-cluck Cock-a-doodle-doo Bwok Bwak Cluckity! Bwak Cluckity Pukaaak Cluck-cluck-cluck Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak:

chickenipsum.lol

Bwak! Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak pukaaak waaak Puk Bwak Puk? Bwok Bwok cluckity Bwok? Cock-a-doodle-doo Bwak… Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak… (Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak v2)

Cluckity cluck Cluck-cluck-cluck…

Cluckity cluck Cluck-cluck-cluck Bwak pukaaak Bwak Cluck. Cluck-a-buh-gawk Bwak Waaak Bok Waaak Cluck-cluck-cluck. Cluckity Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Cluck Cluckity Bwok Cluck! Bwak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak? Pukaaak Waaak puk Waaak Puk Cluck-a-buh-gawk Cluck-a-buh-gawk Pukaaak… Bok cluck-a-buh-gawk bwak Bwok pukaaak bwok Cluckity Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak waaak Bwak Puk pukaaak Waaak Bok bwok cluck-a-buh-gawk!

Cluck Pukaaak Cluckity Pukaaak bwok Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk Pukaaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk bok cluckity Bwak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Puk Bwak Bwok cluckity Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Waaak Cluck-cluck-cluck bok Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Cluckity Pukaaak Cluck-cluck-cluck Bok cluck Puk Puk waaak. Waaak Cock-a-doodle-doo bwok? Cluckity Waaak Pukaaak bwak… Cock-a-doodle-doo Cluck-cluck-cluck cock-a-doodle-doo Waaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak

Cluck Waaak cluck Bwak Bwak Cluck bok bwok Cluck-cluck-cluck cluck!

Cock-a-doodle-doo…

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Closing thoughts

Cock-a-doodle-doo Waaak bok Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak. Bwok Puk cock-a-doodle-doo Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Bwak Bwok puk Pukaaak Bwak Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak.

Cluck Bwwwaaaaaaaaaak Bok Puk Puk Pukaaak Cluck-a-buh-gawk Puk Bok cluckity. Pukaaak Cluck Bwok Cluck-a-buh-gawk Cluck-a-buh-gawk Bok?

Bok.

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