Related book, highly recommended“In India, love begins after marriage. In America, love ends after marriage.” — Indian proverb
I’m half Indian, and I’ve always wondered about the success of arranged marriages. A quick Googling doesn’t reveal much in the way of comparative studies. Part of the problem is that it’s difficult to define “better.” If I had to compare the third of my elders who’ve had arranged marriages with the third who’ve had love marriages, it would be hard to say. They both seem to be about even on happiness and about even on “success,” if success were defined by cohesion and harmonious family investment.
One thing that’s certain, though, is that love marriages are still one big experiment, despite seeming like they’re on the right side of history. History is written by the victors, and the West has been dominating for 500 years, so we may be biased in thinking that love marriages are the be-all-end-all. The West’s domination conveniently overlaps with the rise of romantic love.
A historical perspective would see romantic love as a teenage impulse, akin to a crush, something to be transcended with age. Meanwhile, the West took this childish impulse and made it into the governing principle of its civilization. It may seem like a leap to say so, but governments…